For the sake of the kids, I’ll be trying to edit this post, to the best of my ability, using cartoon names in place of cussing. Let’s do this.

First and foremost, WHAT THE BRAINY SMURF IS WRONG WITH THIS TEAM RIGHT NOW!?! There really is too much to be pissed at. What do I write about even? It’s tough to single out just one guy, such as Fielder, for sucking ass at the plate. How many double plays did the Crew ground into today? Does this team know the meaning of “clutch?” Do they even Wuzzles care?!? Above all, I have diminishing confidence in our bullpen. Which leads to my main topic today…WHY DOES YOST STILL PUT ERIC RAGGEDY ANDY GAGNE IN THE GAME FOR THE EIGHTH INNING?!?!? UN-SNORKS-BELIEVABLE!

(Note: As I’m writing this, JJ hit a walk off single to win Friday’s game. It only took about 17 opportunities and the Padres trying to give us the win by pitching a below-average, journeyman reliever for two innings. Obviously…still pissed)

Let me make it clear that I am no Yost basher. In fact, I’m usually a Yost defender. You might say I have a Yost Infection. Hardy har har. However, there is absolutely no reason Gagne should be pitching the eighth. What the Pink Panther does Mota have to do to get that inning? I guess giving up that one run since July 7 isn’t good enough for Yost. Apparently there is a quota of blown holds that needs to be met in order to fill the eighth inning position. I’m to the breaking point. In fact, I want to boo Gagne. I never boo. I wanna boo so Snorks hard that my balls hurt as much as Eric Gange’s damn well should. I’m so pissed that I need to take some cheap shots at him. Hey Eric! You look like a hippy. You suck! You’s a bum! Okay. Ouch. That’s enough. Don’t want to break his spirit. After all, he is our eighth inning guy. Jetsons!

You know what else pisses me off about him? Excuses…sometimes without saying a word. Is it just me, or is he the only pitcher in professional baseball that consistently has an issue with his footing? Seriously, how often do you need to Slimer with the mound or your cleats? Oh shit. I almost forgot about the goggles or glasses or dixie cups (whatever) that were all fogged up opening day. GD. What next? Your pretty pink barrette’s are going to start falling out of your hair causing more distractions? Man the Barney Rubble up!

Just to nail down my point. I think it’s necessary to show Gagne’s second half numbers in comparison with Mota’s. (We all know how much they both sucked in the first half) Here they are:

Gagne: 14.1 IP 9 ER 4 HR 5.74 ERA

Mota: 16 IP 1 ER 0 HR .56 ERA

The “proof is in the pudding.” I believe that’s what Uncle Jessie would say. I think it’s time for Eric to tell Yost to sit him for good this time. No take-backs!!!!

So I was at my softball tonight and a dude on my team was complaining about how bad Gagne is. That’s fair. Then; however, he added Mota’s name to his short, two name list of “bad” relievers, which is completely wrong. I think it needs to be noted just how good Guillermo has been this entire second half. Since giving up 4 runs on July 9 against the Rockies (the all-star break was July 14-17), Mota has given up just one run. Here is his first half line:

34.1 IP   22 ER   17 BB   31 K   5.82 ERA

…and so far this half (including his two scoreless innings in tonight’s game):

15.1 IP   1 ER   7 BB   13 K   .60 ERA

That being said, I think it’s pretty clear that Mota has fixed his mechanical issues from earlier this year, and it’s time to consider inserting him into the 8th inning spot. Keep up the good work Guillermo!

“I don’t deserve that ninth inning right now. It’s pretty simple,”

Those were the words of Eric Gagne after today’s loss. Obviously he was disappointed with the two runs he surrendered in the ninth, but it’s never good to hear that from the $10 million arm brought in specifically to serve in that inning. With five blown saves and today’s backwards tie-breaker, a change may be warranted and Gagne may have a point. With all that’s happened in the late innings of this young season, who should close?

The team has numerous capable arms to hold the closer role and/or man the ninth inning in situations like today. It may be unpopular, but I have my own take on the Brewers closer pecking order.

1. Eric Gagne: Plain and simple, Gagne was brought in this off season and paid handsomely to be the team’s closer. He may be immersed in one of the most wretched slumps in recorded pitching history, but I feel he should retain the role. Excluding a few control issues, he is making good pitches that are just being hit or - though I hate to drag umpires into this - not being called strikes. The one scary observation is a staggering loss in the velocity of his fastball.

One must also dissect exactly why some of these saves were blown. Most were due to his pitching, but I remember a certain Rickie Weeks throw, nay, bounce that failed to complete what would have been a game-ending double play. The best thing that can be done to resurrect the once dangerously dominant finnisher’s season in Brew City is to keep him in.

2. Guillermo Mota: Excluding a few lapses in perfection, Mota’s opperendi this season has been great. He can bring the heat, work out of pressure situations, work on short rest and go more than one inning. RotoWorld too alludes to Mota being a good choice to take the ninth should Gagne be extradited from the role.

3. David Riske or Salomon Torres: To me they are both equally fitting and equally unfit for basically the same reason. They both have saves under their belt and have both held down setup roles. Torres can pitch almost every day so it’d be a shame to displace a workhorse arm to what wold amount to significantly fewer innings. And Riske just hasn’t been too great to date, though he seems to be coming around. Closer by committee flat out does not work, and probably would not work here either.

4. Mitch Stetter: He’s a favorite of certain radio personalities on our terrible sports talk station to garner the closer’s role, but he’s one of only two lefties in the pen. With Brian Shouse as more of a pure situational lefty whose outing often last 1/3 or 2/3 of an inning, Stetter seems better fit for his current form of use. File Seth McClung and his current awesomeness in the “don’t mess with a good thing” file too.

5. Derrick Turnbow: It’s a fifth option for good reason. Need I spell out why this would be risky and have potential for more bad than good? No.

6. Dave Bush to close and either bring up Jeff Weaver or move Seth McClung to a starter role: This crazy, but Bush did close in college and - if he can pull it together for just one inning at a time, he could be great… then again if Gagne could just pull it together for an inning there would be no need for this post in the first place. This proposition has next to no likelihood of taking place; let’s save Weaver for when another starter goes down.

7. Make a trade: But for who and with what? The only teams I know with a plethora of qualified closers is my ironically-named fantasy team “Cubs Jr.” (make an offer, Jared) and… well, the Brewers.

Hate it as you may, I just hope Gagne’s statement was merely out of frustration and that he remains on the mound to end games the way we all know he’s capable of.

Who knows how this will all shape up, but you can be sure the next time Eric Gagne is called to the mound I will stand and cheer because he is a Brewer and he is trying his damnedest to do his job, and so long as he is a Brewer, I have to hope he will.

The Brewers have traded Johnny Estrada for Guillermo Mota. Mota, a 9 year right handed reliever, was dominant in 2002 and 2003, but was suspended for 50 games in 2007 for a positive steroids test.

First reaction: Not good. Mota hasn’t been a dependable reliever for awhile and has character issues. Estrada, slow azz guy he is, still is a very good hitting catcher. Catching depth is always hard to come by, so when you trade starting catchers, usually you hope for a starter, not a reclamation project. I see the other side of the argument: getting a veteran reliever for a catcher who can’t throw out too many baserunners. And just maybe Estrada’s knee is worse than we thought…but as of right now I am cautious. With Miller getting older and not even signed for next year, I’m not sure this is the player we should have parted with for Mota. We also aren’t sure about Mike Rivera (perhaps a Vinny Rottino spotting???) being a full time catcher, so we shall see how this shakes out.

It also seems that the Brewers think they are going to sign Jason Kendall. Even though he did do well with the Cubs, he has no pop, was gawd awful most of the year, and is OLD as Tyler pointed out. Also, both Mota’s and Kendall’s contracts are going to get very expensive.

To the Mets fans…enjoy another catcher half-ing it every game and we’ll try to enjoy the overpaid reliever!