Posts Tagged ‘Get Pissed’

Get Pissed, Joe - You Gotta Be Titsin’ Me!

Saturday, September 20th, 2008

It’s really happening. Before our very eyes, the Brewers are again breaking our hearts. I kept telling myself every few days that the Brewers are going to pull out of it, but it just hasn’t happened. With only eight games left they are two games back in the Wild Card. Two games is tough to make up in a week, but I’m going to say it’s impossible for a team playing as bad as the Brewers are. I started my yearly detachment about a week ago, but it isn’t going very well. I’ve replaced my raging anger with heartbreak and despair. What’s worse is that I keep coming up with new reasons why this team is so ridiculously disappointing. Not that they are reasons not totally clear to everyone; I just haven’t thought of them because I’ve replaced my fantasies of ripping Carlos Zambrono’s head off with fantasies of kicking Corey Hart in his undoubtedly undersized, redneck package.

Let’s start with the most obvious reason I’m so disappointed: there seems to be a trend starting. The Brewers’ old trend was just sucking balls year in and year out, but we’ve been hearing hype about the Prince Fielders and Rickie Weeks and JJ Hardys for a long time. This as rightfully made our expectations grow immensely over the last handful of years, but they have yet to produce to those expectations. A couple seasons ago, coming off their first .500 season in years, the Brewers couldn’t even make it back to that mark, going 75-87. Expectations were again high last year, and everyone knows about that horrible collapse. And now this year, coming off a 20-7 August, and with a 5 1/2 game lead in the Wild Card as of September 1, they are on the verge of doing it again. I mean, it’s not 100 years, but still. Throw us a bone.

I love you but I hate you, which brings to mind how much I love you...

Recently the whole CC Sabathia trade has really bummed me out. The Brewers hiked their payroll to nearly $100,000 and traded away highly touted prospects Matt LaPorta and likely either Michael Brantley or Taylor Green to get CC. Really, it was a great move, and I don’t think it’s at all regrettable. CC has been the best pitcher in baseball since the move. It’s just too bad that everyone else has seemed to crumble around him. I guess the underlying point is that this year was the best opportunity to make a championship run for nearly three decades. Also, this year is arguably the best shot they’ll have for many more. (Personally, I don’t believe that argument, but we’ll just have to see)

The last main thing that’s botherng me is how much time and energy I put into this team. The Milwaukee Brewers and baseball in general may be my biggest passion in life, so I never regret it, but the disappointment kills me. How long will it be before we have to stop ripping Cubs fans for their undying commitment and take a look at ourselves in the mirror? If you answered 62 years, you’re right! It can’t ever get that bad. Can it?

Get Pissed Joe!

Saturday, September 13th, 2008

Holy good Christ where does one even start with this team? While only two weeks ago it was a struggle to find something to be pissed off about regarding the Brewers, the team now has more things to be down about than Corey Hart has first pitch swings. (how about a little plate discipline, huh?) So, in an effort to maintain some sort of sanity, I will ignore the team woes and focus my anger on another ass puckering topic…the casual Brewers fan.

I feel like I have to preface by stating the obvious: not all casual Brewers fans are annoying, clueless croc-wearing tools. In fact, I’d venture to say most aren’t. Though, especially this year, it’s very difficult to keep this in mind. It’s just a select couple of “breeds” that give the casual fan a bad wrap. There are two; however, that really stick out to me.

I’m sure many have read a post and/or comment or two from RFB’s Tyler and/or Johnny regarding this special breed of “casual”: the ever-annoying “I’d rather start the wave during a ninth inning rally than watch the game” guy. These are the people that have already made me want to change our name to Right Field Loge Seats or Living Room Couch. Not only do these peoples love the wave, they also love booing, “he’s a bum” chants, spilling beer, breathing my air, thumb wrestling, the Dave, date-rape, and cheering for both teams. (note: this breed DOES NOT love mozzarella sticks)

The other breed of casual that I can’t stand is the “know it all.” You know, the dude who couldn’t tell you half of the roster but knows exactly why the team is struggling or doing so well. These are the people I’ve been running into a lot lately. Drives me absolutely GD nuts. Don’t tell me about “my” Brewers. What do you know? Do you spend damn near every free minute of your conscious life watching, researching, reading about, writing about, and every thing else the Brewers? Doubt it. Until you downgrade your “quality” of life to my lowly ninja-sweet level, I don’t want to hear a damn word about how Mota is pitching like crap, Yost can’t manage the team, or the ball boy’s pants are either too tight or he’s overweight for his age.

This may seem like a holier-than-thou post because…IT IS, but I want to again mention that I don’t honestly believe that most casual Brewers’ fans fall into these groups. In fact, I honestly love casual fans. Without their growing passion and support, the Crew wouldn’t get the revenue they need. Still…please realize who Miller Park is “ruled” by. It’s those of us who have spent great amounts of time and money into supporting the Brewers for years and not just when things are looking good. I feel like I’ve earned my right to be a pretentious Brewers’ supporter.

Get Pissed Joe - “I’m Scrappy-Doo Pissed” Edition

Saturday, September 6th, 2008

For the sake of the kids, I’ll be trying to edit this post, to the best of my ability, using cartoon names in place of cussing. Let’s do this.

First and foremost, WHAT THE BRAINY SMURF IS WRONG WITH THIS TEAM RIGHT NOW!?! There really is too much to be pissed at. What do I write about even? It’s tough to single out just one guy, such as Fielder, for sucking ass at the plate. How many double plays did the Crew ground into today? Does this team know the meaning of “clutch?” Do they even Wuzzles care?!? Above all, I have diminishing confidence in our bullpen. Which leads to my main topic today…WHY DOES YOST STILL PUT ERIC RAGGEDY ANDY GAGNE IN THE GAME FOR THE EIGHTH INNING?!?!? UN-SNORKS-BELIEVABLE!

(Note: As I’m writing this, JJ hit a walk off single to win Friday’s game. It only took about 17 opportunities and the Padres trying to give us the win by pitching a below-average, journeyman reliever for two innings. Obviously…still pissed)

Let me make it clear that I am no Yost basher. In fact, I’m usually a Yost defender. You might say I have a Yost Infection. Hardy har har. However, there is absolutely no reason Gagne should be pitching the eighth. What the Pink Panther does Mota have to do to get that inning? I guess giving up that one run since July 7 isn’t good enough for Yost. Apparently there is a quota of blown holds that needs to be met in order to fill the eighth inning position. I’m to the breaking point. In fact, I want to boo Gagne. I never boo. I wanna boo so Snorks hard that my balls hurt as much as Eric Gange’s damn well should. I’m so pissed that I need to take some cheap shots at him. Hey Eric! You look like a hippy. You suck! You’s a bum! Okay. Ouch. That’s enough. Don’t want to break his spirit. After all, he is our eighth inning guy. Jetsons!

You know what else pisses me off about him? Excuses…sometimes without saying a word. Is it just me, or is he the only pitcher in professional baseball that consistently has an issue with his footing? Seriously, how often do you need to Slimer with the mound or your cleats? Oh shit. I almost forgot about the goggles or glasses or dixie cups (whatever) that were all fogged up opening day. GD. What next? Your pretty pink barrette’s are going to start falling out of your hair causing more distractions? Man the Barney Rubble up!

Just to nail down my point. I think it’s necessary to show Gagne’s second half numbers in comparison with Mota’s. (We all know how much they both sucked in the first half) Here they are:

Gagne: 14.1 IP 9 ER 4 HR 5.74 ERA

Mota: 16 IP 1 ER 0 HR .56 ERA

The “proof is in the pudding.” I believe that’s what Uncle Jessie would say. I think it’s time for Eric to tell Yost to sit him for good this time. No take-backs!!!!

Get Pissed, Joe - Round Two

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

I’m back for the second installment of get pissed… I’m actually pretty pissed I have to write this. Like I don’t have better stuff to do than essentially make people read about what jacks me up. Not to mention, I have to follow up this weeks more than solid “Hump Day Heckler”. Who exactly put me in this “time slot?” I blame Jared. It’s typically his fault. Thanks Jackass.

Translation: "Only $700,00 per home run"

First, could we make that Fukudome’s head I’m holding this week? That’d be much more appropriate because not much pisses me off as much as Cubs fans and those stupid headbands. You’re telling me you actually drop ten skrilla on those dumb things? In all fairness to those innocent pieces of fabric, it’s not you, headband, that has my Gap undies in a bundle. It’s the love for Fukudome in general. Hell, I’m pissed that I’m pissed about this. How can I be upset about the Cubs dropping phatty cash for mediocracy…at best? I really should learn to control my temper.

I think the whole “anger thing” has more to do with the previous Cubs/Brewers game I attended. I was asking Cubs fans why they are so in love with this guy. Okay, so I was sorta picking an argument. But that’s fair, isn’t it? After all, he really hasn’t done jack. Well, not for that cash. Anyway, no Cubs fans would “bite” on the conversation stimulator I offered, so I went on the attack. “Wouldn’t you rather have Gabe Kapler for way, way less money? He has better numbers for the number of his at bats,” I asked. Oh boy! That got the north-siders going. “Gabe Kapler. hahaha,” they’d bellow back. Hey dip-shit, go check the numbers. Do you even follow baseball? Or is it just a drunkin’ party at Wrigley like Mr Obama recently suggested? (That’s a rhetorical question. I’ve been there. I know it is) Just jump on that bandwagon Cubs fans! “New guy, lame ass headband, only ten bucks. Get me ten of those.”

The point is, you guys got screwed, and I want the pleasure in listening to you admitting to me that you got screwed. $7 million? You got taken for a ride. Face it!

Damnit! This is certainly, by far, the most pissed I’ve been about the Cubs screwing themselves. (Well, better to take it from yourself than a goat, right Cubs?) I’ll continue my quest to have my question answered during the season finale series at Miller. I’ll let you know if I get any reasonable answers. I’m highly doubting it. Those with Old Style drunks typically have little of value to say.

Get Pissed, Joe! - Round 1

Saturday, August 23rd, 2008

Like the infamous Johnny Rivers, I am also back to give you a weekly dose of mediocre commentary. Afterall, I can’t let Johnny blog more than me. He already has sweeter facial hair, a way more B.A. car (two really), and something that I will likely never own…897 Brewers hats, t-shirts and jerseys. While Johnny’s column leaves much to be desired, mine will leave more than much.

At first I had planned on making Get Pissed… a weekly list of people, events, and other Brewers and/or baseball related things that, well…piss me off. But then I thought of all the whiney tits that post on the JS-Online blog, and thought people might mistake me for one of those “winners.” (seriously guys, get a frickin’ life) While I tend to get overly worked up during games, I generally maintain a fairly level head when it comes to all that is the love of my life…The Milwaukee Brewers. So, while I DO NOT promise to maintain a consistant format, I’ll probably only rant and/or bitch about one topic per week.

I’m sure one to three of you are wondering what I’m so pissed about this week, but this is something that has really worked me up all season: Ned Yost bashers. Honestly, I have argued with many a casual, and not so casual, Brewers fan this summer, and few have much of an argument. “But Joe, he says ‘battler’ and ‘gamer’ all the time!” So…deal with it! “But Joe, Yost never calls out his players. He never gets fired up. I want a manager that lights a fire under the players asses.” You want Piniella? I vote no! “But Joe, he should have put in Riske instead of Villanueva. He never would have given up that homer.” Wow, easy to say in retrospect. “But Joe, he’s an idiot. He should have pinch hit Mike Rivera in the 8th inning instead of Branyan.” Really, you moron!? Go watch soccer!

Let’s face it, most of the bashers are casual fans at best. Not a single person bashing Yost could come close to managing a game better. Though they all think they can. Ned Yost, more times than not, makes the right move. He makes the move that most managers would make. Why? Because he knows the game of baseball in and out. You don’t. He’s played the game of baseball at a professional level. You haven’t. And he’s coached baseball at a professional level for many years. You, again, have not. Ned Yost is a players manager, and I like that. He gets little to no credit for the Brewers clubhouse. I’ve been arguing all summer that he’s hugely responsible for the chemistry of the team. In this weeks interview on the site, Jeff Cirillo even mentions how important Ned Yost is to the clubhouse. Yeah, the fact that a lot of the guys came up together makes a difference, but to say Yost has little to do with it is complete idiocy.

Ned Yost has areas to improve on, no doubt, but the Ned bashers need to chill the hell out. Find a new hobby…like knitting. I have a feeling Yost will be here for some time, so get used to him. At least shut up about it and go study the “Idiots Guide to Baseball” or something. I love you Ned! Mad props, yo! Keep it up.


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