Posts Tagged ‘Ben Sheets’

Strange to See…

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

I must admit, it’s strange to see Ben Sheets pitching in another team’s uniform. Then again, it’s strange seeing Ben Sheets actually pitching.

RFB archives will show that I haven’t always been the kindest to Milwaukee’s former ace, but I do wish him the best in 2010. And frankly, Sheets signing with a non-contending team that plays in an equally small market AND in a different league makes it that much easier to root for him.

So for God’s sake, win 20 games, Big Ben! It’ll put the A’s 22-140 on the season… but will still put a smile on my face. Earn that $10 M salary in the — likely — 90 innings you’ll pitch. Teach your “mechanics” to players that will (hopefully) one day be traded to Milwaukee at the deadline.

I’ll hold to the claim that I’m glad Ben Sheets isn’t a part of the Brewers this season. However, seeing him wearing new colors, surprisingly, feels a bit odd to me.

But best of luck Ben… but not the kind of luck that will bring you to an actual contender in 2011, yet luck nonetheless.

And if he happens to take public transit, I hope he doesn’t encounter this guy.

A Letter from Ben Sheets’ Ugly Swing

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Hi Brewer fans,

Well, as you know, me and the Sheeter are heading to M.C. Hammer’s old stomping ground. Big ol’ Ben actually made $10 Million from the Moneyball guys! Yeah, I can’t believe it either. Anywho, you may have noticed Benny wasn’t that interested in coming back to Milwaukee. First, you have to be fair, Milwaukee wasn’t that interested in him either, but I’m here to set the record straight. Ben Sheets really wanted to go to the AL. Yep. The teams that kept coming up in rumors we’re mostly AL teams: Rangers, Boston, and Oakland. The Mets and Dodgers were interested and have good pitching stadiums, but we barely listened to them. Would you like to know why he wanted to go to the AL with the DH? It’s because of me! His ugly ass swing!

You see, Benny and I know this might be his last shot to prove he’s an ace. He doesn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that, which means not using me. You remember me…wild, unruly, scary, horrid, wretched, laughable, etc… You also know that Ben Sheets gets hurt in the most unlikely of ways. I could have really hurt Ben’s arm…elbow…shoulder…head…spine…kneecap…ACL…MCL…hamstring…ankle…and foot. Not to mention, any crazy pitch could end his career (and with the Rockies and Diamondbacks looking at Turnbow, the chance was there). Now Ben doesn’t have to worry about using me or my kid brother, the bunt. This takes out a big, unnecessary risk for Ben’s return to baseball.

So as you can see, Ben meant no ill-will. He honestly enjoyed his time as a Brewer, but you weren’t interested in him and he wasn’t interested in the NL. You can feel free to blame me!

Ben Sheets’ Ugly Swing

Big Ben Finds a Home

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Ben Sheets is an Oakland Athletic.

The former Brewers ace signed a one-year deal worth $8 million, according to Danny Knobler of Sheets passed a physical and the deal is done.

It would’ve been nice to see Sheets in a Brewers uniform on a low-risk contract, but after it became evident Sheets was looking for bigger bucks, it was a good idea for the Brewers to move on. Sheets is obviously an injury risk and the Brewers can’t gamble too much on an arm as they have a lot of wasted dollars in the rotation already (Thanks, Suppan).

And, luckily, Sheets can’t hurt the Brewers too much now even if he remains healthy and pitches well this year (barring a World Series match up). How bad would it have stung if Big Ben signed with the Cubs, started 30 plus games and posted Cy Young-caliber numbers? I hope he puts together a nice season out West.

Congrats, Ben. Thanks for some great memories as a Brewer. And good luck.

Loading up on Lefties?

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Yahoo Sports reports that Dougie Davis is coming back to Milwaukee for about $4-5 Million. Ladies are already prepping themselves for the return of the “anchor” in Milwaukee.

I'm Coming Back?!?

Maybe we can trade him again for a fat, slow catcher again.

According to multiple sources on the web, Ben Sheets looked good in his “open audition”. He hit 90 on the gun and threw a solid Ben Sheets’ Curveball. Since many teams reportedly have interest in the righty, coupled with the Brewers lack of any actual interest, it seems Sheeter will definitely find a new place to call home. Will he get his crazyazz $12 Mil/Per? No. Even Maddux and the Rangers were scared off by his asking price, so I’m guessing there will be a rich and pitching strapped team who will bow down to his minimum of $6-8 Million. arm bone is connected to my shoulder bone

Finally, if Mahk Moda also signs, there will be 4 lefties competing for the starting rotation. Awesome.

The All-Decade Team

Sunday, December 27th, 2009

Happy Holidays everyone! Since we are on the cusp of a new decade, I decided to put out the Milwaukee Brewers All-Decade team! This was quite an up and down decade for the Crew. We saw the end of our beloved Milwaukee County Stadium, but enjoyed the beauty that is Miller Park. We saw the worst of the worst (3 straight years of finishing last in the NL Central including a 100 loss season) and something we hadn’t seen in over 20 years: Playoffs.  We saw managers change (Lopes, Royster, Yost, Sveum, and Macha). We saw fan favorites come and go. We saw the rise of baseball in HD and a rise in Brewers payroll. Yes, it was quite a roller coaster being a Brewer fan in the 00’s. To look back on the decade that was, Here’s my 25-man All-Decade Roster.


C - The list of Brewers’ catchers from this decade reads like a sick joke: Bennett, Estrada, Bako, Moeller. It was hard to pick, but Damian Miller is my catcher of the decade. In ‘05 and ‘06, he was a solid catcher both offensively and defensively and had a lackluster ‘07 because of the amazingly underwhelming Johnny Estrada.

1B - Prince Fielder - It’s only been since ‘06 that the Brewers have had Fielder as their starting first baseman, but he’s only gotten better over time. He’s even had 2 seasons with over 40 HR’s. He’s been the leader of this team and has shown maturity beyond his years. He even improved his defense!

2B - Ron Belliard - We started off the decade with Belliard at second. He hit alright, but was great at the double play. He was part of turning 129 double plays in 2000.

3B -Ryan Braun - I don’t care how bad his defense was. I don’t care that he’s an outfielder more than a third baseman. He was the best third baseman the Brewers have and I’m putting him here dammit. What else can you say about Ryan Braun? He’s a stud. He does it all. He hits for power and average. He’s the Hebrew Hammer. He likes really ugly MMA shirts. He’s cocky, but says the right things almost all the time. The best thing you can say about him: He’ll be a Brewer far into this next decade!

SS - JJ Hardy - This JJ brought all the ladies to the yard, but behind his female appeal was a great defensive shortstop with a lot of pop in his bat. He made the All-Star team in 2007. His fire continued in 2008 with over 20 home runs again (which is great for a shortstop).

OF - Carlos Lee - We put up with his lazy outfield because you could count on 100 RBI’s. Before Prince was ready for Prime Time, there was Carlos Lee. Even though the Crew only had him for 1 3/4 years, he delivered over 60 home runs and almost 200 RBI’s.

OF - Geoff Jenkins - Roaming the outfield until 2007, Geoff hit 182 home runs and 71 Outfield Assists for the Brewers this decade. Jenks was also voted into the All-Star game in 2004 by the Brewers fans! He ended up having a stellar year that year hitting .296 with 28 HR’s.

OF - Scott Podsednik - Milwaukee’s ROY runner up was the beginning of the resurgence of interest in the Brewers. While he really only had one good year with the Brewers (and only two overall), he set a Brewers record for most SB’s in a year.


1B - Richie Sexson - While I have never been the biggest fan of Sexson because he would choke under pressure, his numbers as a Brewer don’t lie. He hit 133 home runs in a Brewer, including two seasons with 45 (2001 and 2003). He was  a two time All-Star and was involved in an amazing trade for the Brewers.

1B - Lyle Overbay - OK, so I have three first basemen. The Big O was a doubles machine after coming over in the Sexson trade and bridged the gap perfectly between Sexson and Fielder.

OF - Brady Clark - Most people laugh about Brady, but he was a solid member of the Brewers outfield for 4 years this decade. He hit an average of .283 and was a big part of 2005’s .500 year (which people forget was a big deal at the time)

INF - Mark Loretta - Mark had a really strong run in Milwaukee to start his career. And while most of his career was played in the previous decade, he still played for 2 3/4 of this one. Always one you could count on to get on base,  Mark never had more than 60 strikeouts in a season.

OF - Corey Hart - Hart made his debut in 2004, but didn’t recieve the role of everyday starter until 2007. His speed and his bat make him a dynamic player even though his head has gotten in the way.

C - I guess you need two catchers on a 25 man roster so I pick Jason Kendall. I know there are a lot of fans who hate Kendall (such a strong feeling), but many of those fans don’t remember most of the catchers from this past decade. We didn’t have a Surhoff or a Nilsson. And I wouldn’t mind having a Jason Kendall who busts his ass every day on my team….problem is if this was real, he wouldn’t let me put him on the bench.


SP - Ben Sheets - Ben’s entire MLB career started in 2001 even though it seems like he’s been around for longer. In 2004, he was a finalist for the Cy Young and threw over 1200 K’s this decade. I won’t ever forget the day Jared and I saw Sheeter the night after he threw 18 K’s at a Bucks game (Jenkins had front row and Sheeter was sitting 8 rows back by us). He’s Milwaukee’s first legit ace since Higuera and I’d like to see him back in Brewer Blue.

SP - Doug Davis -Doug Davis isn’t flashy. He isn’t dominant. He isn’t fan friendly. He’s just there. And for 3+ years, he was the team’s dependable workhorse. Doug is the reason most Brewer fans check quality starts because 70% of his 2004 starts were quality, although he just won half.

SP - Chris Capuano - Yet another part of the Richie Sexson trade, Cappie was an All-Star in 2005. What people remember most about Capuano was his insane pick-off move which prompted umpires re-check their rule books about balks. He’s the final part of the MM3 (See Kolb)

SP - Yovani Gallardo - This young star in the making was better than expected in ‘09.  He also was helpful down the playoff stretch in ‘08 (even though a freak accident derailed almost all of that season). I’m excited to see how Yo matures in this next decade.

SP - C.C. Sabathia - Sure he grabbed the cash and left, but before he did, he gave Milwaukee a hero they have not seen in a long time. C.C. delivered the team the playoffs and for that, he will never be forgotten. We were able to see what C.C. would have been like in the playoffs had he not been used up, but most people would agree that the Brewers would have never gotten to the playoffs had he been used more sparingly.

RP - Dan Kolb - There are a group of pitchers I like to call the Mike Maddux Three. These pitchers had their highest levels of success under his tutelage and most came out of nowhere to become All-Stars, then fizzle away. The first of those three is Dan Kolb. Dan was all sorts of mediocre until in 2003 when he had an ERA of 1.99 and saved 21 games. The next year he saved 39 and became an All-Star. The following year, he was traded for Jose Capellan which was a move that benefited NO ONE.

RP -Derrick Turnbow - Turnbow is another member of the MM3. A fireballer picked off of waivers, Turnbow was known as the “Wild Thing”. He had wild hair and a wild streak, but his fastball could touch three digits. This streak caught up with him, but not before he was named to the All-Star game. Sadly, his bobblehead ended his career.

RP - Francisco Cordero - Another in the streak of Brewers All-Star Relievers, Cordero was a name on the Carlos Lee trade that quickly became so valuable, people forgot how bad Kevin Mench was. CoCo came in to Click, Click, Boom and saved 44 games with a 2.98 ERA. He was lost to Cincinatti because they offered him a couple extra million the following year.

RP - Brian Shouse - Lefty specialists are in high demand nowadays and the Brewers had a great one in Brian Shouse. When he was picked up, most people said “Who?”, but this lefty had 2+ strong years in Milwaukee and had a cult following.

RP - Trevor Hoffman - OK, so he only had one year in Milwaukee, but you would agree it was a great one, right? He exceeded expectations and was a highlight in a disappointing ‘09 effort. Plus he was the capper on a decade that saw 6 Brewers pitchers become All-Stars.

RP - I have one more reliever spot and it’s hard to give it to just one person because there were so many players that were similar. They weren’t great, but they were who the Brewers had so my last reliever is Matts DeSkanick. That’s right. A hybrid of Matt Wise, Mike DeJean, Curtis Leskanic, and Brooks Kieschnick. They were all middle of the road relievers, but were necessary or had a small following of fans at the time. (If Jared or Tyler could make a photoshop of this, that would be awesome)

Manager - Ned Yost - Love him or hate him, he’s the man that took the Brewers from awful to competitive.

There you have it! Feel free to post your own! I know we’re all looking forward to another up and down decade of Brewer baseball. I hoped to do a Brewer of the Decade Vote in lieu of a fan favorite vote, but we’ll see if the site is around long enough for that.

Sheets Saddling up in Arlington?

Saturday, May 16th, 2009

Hey Benson! This here disabled list ain't bigga nuff fer the botha us.

As Ben Sheets continues to recover from his most recent surgery that Milwaukee paid for, reports of Sheets sightings around Rangers facilities and rumors of what that might indicate are flowing on to baseball blogs as rapidly as menstrual blood flowed out of Big Ben’s tender and constantly sandy vagina for most of his Brewers tenure.

If it wasn’t extrmemly obvious when Doug Melvin was saying Milwaukee wouldn’t sign him, when an injured Sheets declined arbitration or when he basically signed with Texas until his injury was discovered - set this shit in stone now. Ben Sheets will probably be a Ranger.

Hope and pray and reference loyalty all you want, but I just don’t see Benjamin and Milwaukee meeting up. And it’s for the better. The best, most logical and smartest thing to do when your favorite team’s default ace of the past two presidential terms decides to limp out of town a much fatter and better rested specimen than when he arrived is to take a deep breath and simply let it go.

I know, I know - it sounds hard to think about seeing him biting those nails in another team’s dugout, in another team’s uniform… but trust me, it’ll be OK. Even without Texas’ first rounder in Milwaukee’s hands for compensation, we’ll all survive this.

For example, do you remember how in “Better off Dead,” Lane Meyer’s fine ass ex girlfriend Beth left him for Roy because Roy was better at skiing? Moreover, do you recall the way Lane moped around all depressed while Roy and Roy’s Ski Buddy #1 always rubbed in the loss of said hot snizz?

Did Lane just take it and give up? DID HE? Well, yeah, he tried to kill himself a few times and had Van Halen-inspired claymation fantasies… but eventually he picked himself up, dusted himself off and moved on with his life. By appreciating what he had in his grasp in the present instead of pathetically clinging to the past, he was able to 1. Rebuild an old car with relatively no mechanical know-how, 2. Finally beat those Asian guys in a race, 3. Ski the muthafuckin’ K-12 on ONE ski and 4. Get Beth to totally want him back. Most importantly, he forged a beautiful and powerful bond with that French exchange student Monique. And you know what? He probably banged her right there at the base of the K-12 while everyone cheered as the credits were rolling.

Think about it. Realize it and get a head start on not caring about it (the way I have) for when the bored TV analysts are in need of AL West show fodder. You’ll be better off… just as the Brewer are.

Continue moving on with your life as if he’d never been in it. After all, he was usually only there half of each season anyway.

In the News (3/11)

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

Coming Up to Milwaukee?

Today’s Game: No Game

Brewers News

- Well, kind of a game today. The “B-Squad” played against Texas. McClung and Swindle both looked good, but nothing much else that I can find.

- This is what I’m taking away from this report: It sounds like Mike Lamb and Brad Nelson are punching their tickets to Milwaukee.

- Hey, it’s someone else who respects the Bush! I would agree that with everyone paying attention to Gallardo and Parra,  Bush might have a career year.

- Benny is rehabbing in Texas…and the Rangers say it’s just a coincidence and it doesn’t mean anything…even though this news article is on their website. I hate to say it, even being the Ben Sheets apologist I am, but I’m pretty much over it.

- Here’s some interesting numbers on other 21 year old pitchers like Yo from Brew Crew Ball. Hopefully he doesn’t go the way of Nick Neugebauer.

- Actually, I had this thought yesterday, but figured it wasn’t feasible. It probably still isn’t plus Gamel isn’t ready and would Brewer fans rather have Lamb by himself or Lamb backing up Hall? Probably the latter.

- An Atlanta Blog listed their all-under-25 team. Prince and Braun are respected on the list.

- Hey Miller Park Drunk…Probably the Major League Baseball Marketing Dept. and I totally snagged one on clearance for 10 bucks. It sits on my TV. It pretty much rules.

- Also, nice little Gagne remembrance. I laughed at the last picture, but where’s the picture of George Mitchell?

- B!B!KTUTH can’t believe that anyone would want Escobar to start over Hardy. I agree, J.J. has proven himself with a bat and glove and even though Escobar will be awesome, let’s live in the now for a little bit.

- They should post these numbers to go along with their argument. Basically, J.J rules.

- Thanks for the (Cub Killer) Mention in your top 10 non-baseball things to look forward to.

NL Central

- Again, a Houston blog is awarding points for each position to find out which team in the Central is the front runner for the year. The Brewers were awarded the second most points for second base in the Central? I looked at the argument and never realized how collectively poor offensively the NL Central’s second basemen were.

- SI says forget about that flop, the Cubs will be even better. It’s possible, but the 2008 Mets and Tigers were supposed to be awesome too…

- The Cubs sure like their dramatic outfielders. It seems that Milton Bradley liked to call in sick while at Texas and it has Bleed Cubbie Blue a little concerned.

- Oh, and Sweet Lou enjoys rubdowns from Fukudome’s trainer and is taking a hot air balloon ride. So, he’s riding himself?

- Former Brewer, Current Cub hopeful Luis Vizcaino might not make the roster.

Other News

- Former Brewer Geoff Jenkins may have worked on his swing in the offseason, but Philly is talking about trading him if Jayson Werth proves he can be consistant for an entire year.

Where Will The Wins Come From?

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

Before I start - follow me on twitter!

That’s been the big question ever since CC Sabathia and Ben Sheets bolted for the greener pastures of free agency this winter, and according to most analysts, they will have a lot of trouble replacing the production from CC and Ben.  Of course, they’re right.  It’s very hard to replace the combined 9.3 WAR provided by the prodigious pair, but I think the Brewers will be able to do it.  Let me go through where these wins will come from.

First, the bullpen.  The Milwaukee Brewers bullpen was incredibly bad last year, to put it simply.  Derrick Turnbow managed to accrue a whole -.4 wins in less than 10 innings, Eric Gagne, despite his okay finish, was worth -1.0 wins, and David Riske was also worth -.5 wins.  There’s a whole -2 wins from 3 players in the bullpen.  Salomon Torres did not do a whole lot to make up for it, as he was only worth .4 wins last year.  All told, the volatile Brewers bullpen was worth a paltry 1.6 RUNS above replacement last year, for a total of .16 WINS above replacement.  This was the 6th worst in the league (Pirates, Cardinals, Giants, Padres, Mets) and by FAR the worst among playoff teams (the next worst bullpen was the Rays at 3.32 WAR).  Basically, it’ll be hard for the Brewers to be that bad this year, especially considering the retooled bullpen.  Let’s take a look at one possible outlook for the bullpen this year:

CL Hoffman, 60 IP 3.90 FIP, 1.8 LI    | 0.80 WAR
RP Villanueva, 80 IP 3.40 FIP, 1.3 LI | 1.45 WAR
RP McClung, 80 IP, 3.60 FIP, 1.1 LI   | 1.00 WAR
RP Stetter, 50 IP, 3.50* FIP, 1.0 LI  | 0.70 WAR
RP Swindle, 40 IP, 3.90* FIP 0.9 LI   | 0.30 WAR
RP Julio, 50 IP, 4.30 FIP 0.7 LI      | 0.10 WAR
RP Riske, 50 IP, 4.30 FIP 0.7 LI      | 0.10 WAR
RP Others, ~40 IP, 4.45 FIP 0.6 LI    | 0.00 WAR
TOTAL                                 | 4.45 WAR

(Rough projections from CHONE, Marcel, and BrewCrewBall community projections)

There are many variations on this theme, and they’ll all have similar results.  This bullpen projects as 4.45 wins above replacement.  That’s a 4.29 win gain over last year’s bullpen, so even if the bullpen is only half as good as these projections say, we’re still looking at a massive improvement.  So there’s 4.3 wins back of the 9.3 lost from Sheets/Sabathia.  That still leaves us with 5 wins to make up.  The next places to look are the starters.  Essentially, replacing CC and Ben are Yovani Gallardo and Braden Looper.  Now, that duo certainly does not strike fear into the hearts of opponents like the old guard, but they are certainly capable.  More projections:

SP Gallardo, 180 IP, 3.60 FIP | 3.80 WAR
SP Looper, 190 IP, 4.60 FIP   | 1.65 WAR
TOTAL                         | 5.45 WAR

So between the two additions to the rotation this year, we can see an increase of 5.45 wins above replacement.  This is even before we add in possible late season contributions from Chris Capuano.  With these 5.45 WAR, combined with the added 4.29 WAR from the bullpen, we have more than replaced the 9.3 wins lost from the departures of Sheets and Sabathia.  This is before we consider that many of the Brewers hitters suffered down years and are likely due for regression this year.  This team may not be as flashy or as star-powered as last year’s team, but it certainly has the ability to compete and there is no reason to think otherwise.

Ben Sheets Having Surgery?

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

Benny Sheets? Season ending surgery? Such words have never been spoken together….


But there are reports that Sheets is considering having surgery to repair his torn flexor tendon…which might keep him out for all of 2009, at least until July or August. This obviously gives his already hurting status another hit. It will make it very hard, nigh impossible, for Ben to get a multi-year deal with guarantees. I’m sure Ben and his agent are looking back at the arbitration that was offered as “what could have been..” More information sure to come out later…

SI’s Heyman reports that Sheet’s agent, Casey Close, has confirmed it.

Another interesting point: According to, if Ben doesn’t get signed before June, the Brewers won’t recieve a compensatory draft pick

Hump Day ReHeckler: The Reprised Rants of a Working Class Enemy of Lameness. A Spirit to Behold.

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

Shit, Brewers! How are you going to play me like that, girl?!?

As was the case with most other literate followers of the Brew Brew Dolls, that was – verbatim – my reaction in reading that Milwaukee was most likely done adding parts this offseason. But don’t mistake my sentiment here; my displeasure lies not in Milwaukee’s refusal to sign another recognizable name… quite the opposite in fact.

I’ve actually been largely impressed with the Brew Man Groups’ winter transactions. The Chris Capuano minor league deal was one hinged on pure upside and will undoubtedly see a more than worthy return. The bullpen moves straight up gave me wood – all of them, I’m literally pitching a sequoia over here. Shit mengala, even the arbitration figures (to date) and Fielder signing went over better than I expected.

I’ve been raised to suck the flabby, unimpressive teat of fiscal savvy. It didn’t take DM saying “absolutely not” to Oliver Perez to let me know Milwaukee was absolutely not in on him. Adam Dunn… doubtful. It’s simply in my nature as a fan of this organization to accept past-prime or pre-payday pieces to comprise one unified team that, when fully operational, can flirt with the prospect of being above average.

But sometimes I get greedy and expect my wasted years of emotional attachment to something that gives approximately zero shits about me to be rewarded with the employment of a sideshow, a representation of the proletariat – a fan favorite. And what do we get? Menasha’s own, badass, metalhead, salt of the Earth, gash-slamming, son of a bitch bastard Eric Hinske? No, assclowns, you must’ve forgot Craig “jailbait” Counsell was a free agent. Apparently $1M (plus incentives) is better served for employing a light-hitting tween than it is a left-handed masher with equal versatility. Now Hinske is probably signing with Pittsburgh as I write this, and will taunt me like 15 times this season.

Preseason predictions
Eric Hinske: 15 spuds, 50 ribs, 8 swipes, 6,000 beers, a legacy left.
Craig Counsell: Apt defense, unnecessary eyeblack, Nutcracker performance… and (if it’s a breakout year) maybe puberty.

You mean, I didn't make the team, Skip? (everyone else laughs)

 If anything, I guess this means Brad Nelson will make the team and Casey McGehee will hit the bricks, which shows there are at least glimmers of justice on this unforgiving rock from time to time. How can I be so sure Casey McGehee won’t make the team in January? Because he’s number 52 and is neither a relief pitcher nor CC Sabathia. The only way you’ll hear anything about McGehee come April is if the other four infinitely more capable hotcornermen competitively eat peanut butter, or you attend a Sounds game and Scott Thorman gets the shits for the better part of a month and/or kills someone.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Ben Sheets. As popular as this candle (sincerely lit) light vigil over the 5 percent chance Milwaukee is even interested in Ben Sheets, I am fucking sick of Ben Sheets. Yeah, he was a Brewer. OK, when going well, he can be considered above average. But how often do those two factors warrant a multi-year deal for a cat that makes Chris Carpenter seem durable? I think I know why Milwaukee only won a single playoff game in the past 26 years – 1. Dave Bush is tits city and won that game himself, and 2. The organization lets go of its greatest players too early (and, until somewhat recently, get too little in return) while letting hacks whose throwing arms resemble poorly-made spaghetti to milk a limited payroll and fashion undeserved pedestals to ward over a hardworking fan base brainwashed into thinking they’re top-tier players.

Let Sheets go everyone. You’ll be happy you did. I’d rather be allegedly married to Alcides Escobar than hold my breath for another 2004 from Ben Sheets.

And yeah, I know I misspelled “Deux.” DON’T EVER QUESTION MY ART!!! Oh, and have a good weekend.

- This Heckler brought to you by Tyson Any’tizers. Please don’t bring up our random apostrophe. Adam in marketing said it’d help sell in Santa Fe. Tyson - E’at some ‘’’’Now.’

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