Braun Commits (Dating) Error

Ryan Braun and his girlfriend Andreena Clarke reportedly have broken up (according to this Kiss FM blog).

As legions of female Brewers fans celebrate across our great state and beyond, I have to admit I’m less than thrilled about the news. No, not because my fiance is one of the thousands of women who will now lustfully thrust themselves upon Braun at the next possible opportunity in an attempt to rip one of those godawful Remetee shirts right off him, revealing his 86 pack of abs. I mean, she is probably one of those… But I’ve grown to accept it.

What bothers me about the break up is that I will no longer get the chance to see sporadic photos of Braun’s former arm candy, Andreena Clarke. And that’s a damn shame.

As Ryan undoubtedly embarks on a sexual conquest falling somewhere between the coital accomplishments of Wilt Chamberlain and the erotic exploits of Johnny’s twisted imagination, I can’t help but feel like we were just getting to know Andreena…

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5 Responses to “Braun Commits (Dating) Error”

  1. Tyler Says:

    I personally could care less about who athletes date or don’t date. Braun does have an 86-pack though.

  2. Scoottage Cheese Says:

    The more important question is why are you hitting up the KISS FM blog? I usually freqent that site to win myself some Jonas Brothers concert tickets. The brother with the artificial limb is the cutest.

  3. Jared Says:

    There are no corners of the Web where Brewers news will go undiscovered by us, although you might notice that KISS FM blog post was made like three weeks ago…

  4. Thanks a lot Ryan Braun, now I’ll never get laid | Miller Park Drunk Says:

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  5. Cassie Says:

    NOBODY HAS AN 86-PACK DIP SHIT! OMG!!!! MY MAN RYAN BRAUN AKA FUTURE HUSBAND!!! SINGLE!!!! And im going to the brewer game in 2 days i can show off my stuff and my friend give me great addvice, its easier to flash with a tank top!!! Hahahahahah!!!!! GO BREW CREW!!!